New Earrings

The back to her earring fell to the bottom of the bath tub and I shrieked, “DON’T MOVE!!!”

“Mom, is putting that back on going to make you feel dead again?” I am a shame to my medical heritage.

Growing up at my house we talked bodily functions over dinner. Saturday mornings were spent crafting with medical tape at nurses station on the 3rd floor of the hospital. And nursing homes? I’ve spent years worth of my life in nursing homes.

And do you know what does me in? New earrings.

I got my ears pierced when I was 17, and the first time I had to change those bad boys I stood in the bathroom of my sister’s house practically practicing lamaze. Gripping the counter to stay upright, I had to coach myself into consciousness to get those studs through the fresh holes in my tender lobes.

And now my kid has earrings. “They’ll be so cute,” I said.

Daily we cleaned them. Nightly we turned them. All the while expectantly awaiting the day of the big switch…which Daddy did while I paced the floor in the basement.

And then a few days later the unthinkable happened: a total earring catastrophe. That stupid, teeny, tiny little girl earring came out. All the way out. And there was no daddy there to save the day. Nope, just a mommy and her half-dead self somehow supposed help.

I nearly fainted and almost threw up. I leaned over the sink, and when that wasn’t enough I laid on the floor. It took me 10 minutes and a whole heap of “help me, Jesus’,” but that little girl earring did eventually find it’s way home.

It’s crazy. There are some things I can crush without a conscious thought, and then there are other things – like new earrings – that just leave me unconscious. But I’m thinking today that’s just gonna have to be okay.

This week may you also know just what it is that you can crush, and may you be completely okay with what you can’t.

Side note: Sorry in advance, my child, but when it comes time for teeth, I’m out. It’s really best for the both of us.

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